Angry

5 days in Behavioral Health, 5 days of begging to come home, 5 days of promises of getting better, 5 days of relentless guilt....for nothing. I really dont know how much more I can take before my marraige becomes what I dread. Two people living in th same home, nothing more, nothing less....just occupying space. He doesnt want to try, he refuses. He has not only given up on himself but me and the kids as well, and that is a terrible blow to feel. I cry far to much. It is amazing that I dont wither up and blow away for the tears I have shed over him, and still I am here. I love him with all of my heart and soul and I get nothing in return. I am told to leave him alone, nothing has changed....5 days of hell....5 days of misery and nothing has changed!!!!! I am angry, this is supposed to be a great time in our lives, watching the kids grow up, doing it together. But I am alone. He left me a year ago and I dont know the person in his place. Had I known then that those times were going to be the last I guess I would have spent more time cherishing them...he talks about how he lost himself....I lost my husband. I took for granted for so long that he loved me....I knew he did. I would give anything to know that again....to know that I matter at all.