Ok so the last post was really emotional and full of anger.....not that anyone could tell lol. I dont REALLY hate anyone. but I was very mad and hurt and I wanted to scream all of those things at him but I knew it would only compound the issue which is that he is back sliding and has stopped doing anything. no blogging no book work no nothing. and he is slipping into this pit again. and the more he slips the more he drags me with him. so I am making it my goal to not sleep past 9 this week and to be active even if it is just a stroll outside. something...... anyway yesterday and today have been better. things are calmer, no more yelling just talking and i love you's ♥♥♥

enough

i hate you
i wont fight for you anymore
you can walk alone
i wont hold your hand
i wont be your sounding board
i will not care if you fail
i wont let myself follow you on a path of distruction
i hate you
i will not try anymore
i will not let you destroy them because you dont care about anything or anyone
I will not be by your side
you are tired of me
you dont want me
you dont care about me
i tried







you dont care that i struggle too......you dont care that it is hard on me and the kids, its all about you and your pain and your lack of anything. when do we get to matter again.

Not the best of days lately

I find it harder and harder to be happy and not angry, especially the later in the day it gets. The nights are the worst I am so angry, I dont know why. But I am. I just want to melt into the things around me and disappear. The least little thing sets me off....I dont know what it is. I will muddle through it, and just get on with things. meh